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Anchors so BlueWhen I close my eyes and start dreaming,
Everything starts seeming,
So very blue.
Blue for the tears I have shed for you,
Blue as the uniform on your back,
Blue as oceans that keep us worlds apart.
As blue as it gets,
This one thing I know is true
I will be for ever waiting for you.
For the day the blue sky smiles upon us
For the day I can look into your blue eyes
And tell you in person
I love you.
Though miles and waves may keep us apart,
Just know, you have anchored my heart.
And one day, and I know this to be true,
My dreams will be of a kinder blue
DriveNo matter how fast I drove I could never seem to get to the next mile marker. I blamed it on the ice and sleet, just playing tricks on me. As I pulled over to wait out the storm, a gust of wind hit me. I looked in the rear view mirror and saw the lights. I zipped up my jacket and ran towards the accident knowing an ambulance would soon be on its way. That truck... it looked so familiar. As I slid down the embankment into the ditch I could see the police officers light. I as I tried to swing the door open it wouldn't move. I could see the person slumped against it. Frantic I tried to flag down the police officer to help me, but he ran right by, like he didn't see me at all. It was cold... so cold. As the ambulance pulled up I went and waited in my truck, hoping for the best for that poor girl. When I saw them pull the body bag out my worst fears had come true. I silently said a prayer as more vehicles arrived. It was my mom, and my dad... I ran out to explain everything but they wouldn'
fear and waitingYou walk, carrying on your everyday life
I see you, out of the corner of my eye,
Even thought we are miles apart.
That grin forever burned in my mind.
I can feel the flood.
I can feel the hatred, the regret, the shame.
I feel like panicking, or crying.
My insides are screaming for what I once was.
What I once had, and what you took from me.
I wasn't the first, and I know I wont be the last.
But I can wait.
I can wait until the day they know I was telling the truth.
Until the day you get caught.
When your world starts crashing down just like mine did.
Until you loose everything you've worked so hard for.
And that normal day feeling everyone should be entitled to.
I will relish the day, you are in handcuffs, and locked away.
Because then maybe you'll feel some of the fear I have,
Caged inside yourself, afraid to be near those around you.
I'll never forgive, I'll never forget
Field of HerosI walk among the crosses
Looking a the names, but not seeing them
I walk down the rows, and slowly those around me disapear
I see those I've known,
and those I've lost
I watch the battles play out
I watch the shipmates I've come to know
I see young men and women
Standing solomly behind their names,
A crisp salute from each, and a tear strolling down their face
I see their families pass by
And not even acknowledge them
The sorrow grows deeper the longer I walk
I wonder who these people could have been
And what they would say
If they could see the country they had died for
They arent remembered by most
Just another name on the list,
on this national bbq day.
It hits me harder then most I suppose
On this Memorial day
PathMy path is not one that many have known
I carry the scars and bruises to show,
Where I am, and where it is I plan to go.
I do not weep for the sorrows,
And I cry not for the mistakes,
For I know I am not done finding my own way.
I seek something greater then what people have shown,
I hope not to ignore whats around me,
But to know the fortunes the world truly holds.
I refuse to play my part that society gives to me.
I will find my own way, and all the answers that lay in-front of me.
So carry on with your judgements, and call me what you will.
But know that I am free from your burdens,
And you are stuck where you are, still, in a unforgiving moment.
DustHe watches the dust swirl around his boots
as he gazes out over his once fertile fields.
Slowly he turns to the trail of dust fallowing the old pick up.
Its his brother, coming home to family farm
In his hand is the notice,
Telling his family that 6 generations mean nothing any more.
The foreclosure paper work in hand,
Together they gaze out on their god forsaken land.
And wonder, what it will be like, being torn away from who they are.
Just another beat down, lost, hungry face, in the crowd of a nation.
pleaseEver since that plane took off things have been different.
My mom and I jump everytime the phone rings,
Shiver with fear everytime the door bell rings.
We wait paitently to receive a letter.
Just to know hes alive.
To know somewhere in the world, my dad is okay.
We cant know where he is,
Its to risky they say...
We wait to hear when he will be home,
When the war will end,
We know even when its over things will not be the same.
War changes people, but thats okay.
Because Daddy, I love you,
Please come home
Daddys sailorHe wishes that I died a hero, instead of coming home a victim.
He wishes I fought the war he never could, instead of getting discharged.
We dont speak. Theres no need. His actions say it all.
I wish he knew what really happened, instead of what his friends said online.
I wish I was his daughter again, instead of his failed sailor.
I'm sorry I was raped and scared, instead of being emtionless like you Dad.
HomecomingPeople stop and stare. They say things as I pass by with me sea bag on my back.
They call me a baby killer, say they wished I had died over there.
When I was there people were afraid. Our uniforms signaled bloodshed and loss.
I watched one by one as my friends fell, the whole time wishing it was me.
People treat me different... they dont know I'm the same scared kid that left for basic all those years ago.
A message to the brokenYou drown yourself
in liquid sorrows,
letting the salty mess
burn your wounds,
and the sadness
to drip in your mouth,
consuming your words
and you say
you deserve the pain,
but I want to dry your face,
and whisper in your ear
how the clouds cry too,
while they hold such beauty,
and so do you.
Pretty metaphors are for pretty girlsI told you to stop
spewing pretty metaphors at me,
for with each elaborate comparison,
I feel a bit more
detached from this world
And maybe I don’t feel so strong at the moment,
but would you be
if you felt like the entire universe
was resting upon your shoulders,
and someone was just there saying:
But you’re stronger than the powerful beats
of a butterfly’s wings
And maybe I do need more confidence,
but would you exuberate it
when the part you hated most about yourself
were the freckles that have speckled your face for years,
and someone was just there muttering:
They’re not flaws,
but rather stars that form constellations
Yes, I can’t help but hate
all those unrealistic metaphors
you choose to pelt at me when I’m low,
yet the irony is,
I know that those beautiful words
are realistic in your eyes,
So I can’t hate you.
dark circlesi haven't slept well in 14 days
my eyes droop pretty colors
'50 shades of purple and grey,
they're bags and they're designer'
making jokes is how i cope
with chapped lips and constant chap-stick
it tastes like honey and mint
i laugh and say i'm addicted.
hooded lids and sleepy smiles
during lunch at subway
my friends ask if I'm okay
I say that I'm just tired.
but really when I see him with her
my heart sinks to the tiles
she's pretty and witty and sure as hell she can sing
and i'm just a loud bone-collector.
when I see her with him,
dancing and laughing and grinning,
the ring on her finger
laughs at my singularity.
for as much as i lie and as much as i try
my loneliness still creeps in,
because no matter how much they protest,
i'm still the lowly fifth-wheel.
walking behind them on sidewalks
that are wide, but built for four
smiles and laughs when they look back
but the frown creeps evermore.
pelvis peaks through paper-thin skin
and knuckles white and pale
my ribs are empty, my bo
Clear WristA clear wrist, barren of scars,
as opposed to skin sauntered in marks,
tells a trickier story than it's soiled and raw,
uncaring, unkempt counter part.
Bravery, I think it holds,
the strength to bare unimaginable loads
of pain and suffering through endless times,
and withstanding the agony of sleepless nights.
Some think it is fear, the reluctance to cut,
but I believe it opposite, it show courage and guts.
To bear your pain without a nick on your wrist,
is like a solider braving his terrain while being torn limb from limb.
Agonizing as it is, to hide your pain,
you do it so well, and no attention you'll gain.
At the end of the day, it's not cry for attention,
rather a cry for the victory that's silently mentioned.
Your scars are those not self inflicted,
and despite the gnawing intention,
to harm yourself and ease your pain,
the scars you earn are rightfully gained.
In a room of those who have jumped the gun,
and left traces of blood deep in their arms,
do not be tempted to do the sam
specter boys have always looked best sinkinghe says,
i want to count all 206 &
feel the notches of your ribs -
i want you, weary boy, to
phase yourself down while
you are burning inside out.
i will seethe inside your skull
like thoughts, like cigarette filters;
you will thank me as i molder in your marrow.
These Faded KeysOf all the keys I click
As we speak each day,
It's the back arrow
That's faded most
These white letters
Would surely tell you,
I reply to everything -
But the key reading "enter"
Will be the one to explain
Why it still looks new
I want you to know
Just how much I care,
But I don't want to be close
Out of the fear of losing you
But please remember:
I dedicate these words to you,
Sharing them to the world
Rather than clicking away
At the faded key ~
FlagI awake to his alarm going off, and roll over to see hes not in bed.
I see his uniform still crisp in the closet
I carefully start to sneak in the kitchen to surprise him.
I stop in the living room when I see the case out of the corner of my eye.
The case with his flag... and medals...
I'm quickly overwhelmed by the flood of memories..
The day he left for deployment, and promised me he'd be okay,
The day the two men in uniform knocked at my door,
And the day they handed me that flag...
Slowly I crawl back to the bedroom, and clutch his pillow close,
His lingering scent is all I have left.
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