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ShowerThe water beats down
Blistering my skin
As I watch, sobbing
As the dirt washes
fresh wounds and bruises
The water beats down
blistering my skin
hitting where bruises
had once been.
Wounds turned to scars
Its been 3 years today
The water beats down
blistering my skin.
I still see them
I scrub where
the bruises had been
5 years still havent
washed them away
The water beats down
10 years have past
as i wonder where he is.
If ill ever get back
what he stole.
I start to scrub again
The water beats down
As it has thousands
of times before,
yet I still look down
and feel like a whore
15 years later,
not an end in sight
I didnt want it.
So why does it haunt
me every night?
A life of fear and regret
A living death sentence
from a man I once met
A smile and blade,
are visions of that day
I was forced to lay
with a man i didnt love
the one who hurt me
and took so much
Investigations long over,
prices not yet paid
Make me long for the days
before I was raped.
Anchors so BlueWhen I close my eyes and start dreaming,
Everything starts seeming,
So very blue.
Blue for the tears I have shed for you,
Blue as the uniform on your back,
Blue as oceans that keep us worlds apart.
As blue as it gets,
This one thing I know is true
I will be for ever waiting for you.
For the day the blue sky smiles upon us
For the day I can look into your blue eyes
And tell you in person
I love you.
Though miles and waves may keep us apart,
Just know, you have anchored my heart.
And one day, and I know this to be true,
My dreams will be of a kinder blue
DriveNo matter how fast I drove I could never seem to get to the next mile marker. I blamed it on the ice and sleet, just playing tricks on me. As I pulled over to wait out the storm, a gust of wind hit me. I looked in the rear view mirror and saw the lights. I zipped up my jacket and ran towards the accident knowing an ambulance would soon be on its way. That truck... it looked so familiar. As I slid down the embankment into the ditch I could see the police officers light. I as I tried to swing the door open it wouldn't move. I could see the person slumped against it. Frantic I tried to flag down the police officer to help me, but he ran right by, like he didn't see me at all. It was cold... so cold. As the ambulance pulled up I went and waited in my truck, hoping for the best for that poor girl. When I saw them pull the body bag out my worst fears had come true. I silently said a prayer as more vehicles arrived. It was my mom, and my dad... I ran out to explain everything but they wouldn'
fear and waitingYou walk, carrying on your everyday life
I see you, out of the corner of my eye,
Even thought we are miles apart.
That grin forever burned in my mind.
I can feel the flood.
I can feel the hatred, the regret, the shame.
I feel like panicking, or crying.
My insides are screaming for what I once was.
What I once had, and what you took from me.
I wasn't the first, and I know I wont be the last.
But I can wait.
I can wait until the day they know I was telling the truth.
Until the day you get caught.
When your world starts crashing down just like mine did.
Until you loose everything you've worked so hard for.
And that normal day feeling everyone should be entitled to.
I will relish the day, you are in handcuffs, and locked away.
Because then maybe you'll feel some of the fear I have,
Caged inside yourself, afraid to be near those around you.
I'll never forgive, I'll never forget
Field of HerosI walk among the crosses
Looking a the names, but not seeing them
I walk down the rows, and slowly those around me disapear
I see those I've known,
and those I've lost
I watch the battles play out
I watch the shipmates I've come to know
I see young men and women
Standing solomly behind their names,
A crisp salute from each, and a tear strolling down their face
I see their families pass by
And not even acknowledge them
The sorrow grows deeper the longer I walk
I wonder who these people could have been
And what they would say
If they could see the country they had died for
They arent remembered by most
Just another name on the list,
on this national bbq day.
It hits me harder then most I suppose
On this Memorial day
PathMy path is not one that many have known
I carry the scars and bruises to show,
Where I am, and where it is I plan to go.
I do not weep for the sorrows,
And I cry not for the mistakes,
For I know I am not done finding my own way.
I seek something greater then what people have shown,
I hope not to ignore whats around me,
But to know the fortunes the world truly holds.
I refuse to play my part that society gives to me.
I will find my own way, and all the answers that lay in-front of me.
So carry on with your judgements, and call me what you will.
But know that I am free from your burdens,
And you are stuck where you are, still, in a unforgiving moment.
DustHe watches the dust swirl around his boots
as he gazes out over his once fertile fields.
Slowly he turns to the trail of dust fallowing the old pick up.
Its his brother, coming home to family farm
In his hand is the notice,
Telling his family that 6 generations mean nothing any more.
The foreclosure paper work in hand,
Together they gaze out on their god forsaken land.
And wonder, what it will be like, being torn away from who they are.
Just another beat down, lost, hungry face, in the crowd of a nation.
pleaseEver since that plane took off things have been different.
My mom and I jump everytime the phone rings,
Shiver with fear everytime the door bell rings.
We wait paitently to receive a letter.
Just to know hes alive.
To know somewhere in the world, my dad is okay.
We cant know where he is,
Its to risky they say...
We wait to hear when he will be home,
When the war will end,
We know even when its over things will not be the same.
War changes people, but thats okay.
Because Daddy, I love you,
Please come home
Daddys sailorHe wishes that I died a hero, instead of coming home a victim.
He wishes I fought the war he never could, instead of getting discharged.
We dont speak. Theres no need. His actions say it all.
I wish he knew what really happened, instead of what his friends said online.
I wish I was his daughter again, instead of his failed sailor.
I'm sorry I was raped and scared, instead of being emtionless like you Dad.
Forgiveness takes twoThe words are struggling
to tumble off my tongue,
and despite having
a fleshy cushion
to rest on,
they stain my teeth
and sting like acid
"I'm sorry," I stutter,
but the bitter taste
doesn't leave my tongue-
not because the words weren't true,
but because I know
I won't hear,
Mommy Is A Super HeroMommy Is A Super Hero
Standing before his class, he held his tiny report,
“Who is your super hero?” Was written in yellow chalk on the green board.
Exhaling his breath, the curly haired boy closed his little eyes,
“Don't be ashamed of yourself” His mother's words rung in his ears, “And don't ever cry.”
He began to read aloud, with a shaky voice.
to his class, he told his mother's story.
At age fifteen, she was a beauty queen,
the most beautiful girl in all of the world.
She flaunted her silky hair, bore her bare legs,
prided her breast. The boys treated her like she was a treasure chest.
They respected her rules, they “looked, but didn't touch”,
but there was one older man, who from her, wanted too much.
All alone he met her, he approached her in the alley,
and all his mother told him, was that this man had treated her badly.
But what the boy didn't know was that she was taken against her will,
and that two months later, she turned up ext
She's an artistShe's an artist.
Always seems to be daydreaming,
She draws to escape her pain.
Cause for a single moment,
When her work is done.
It seems like there is no more rain.
And she could finally touch the sun.
The one that shines so brightly in her paintings.
But then it's gone,
So she keeps drawing,
She's become good at escaping.
Running from reality.
Because dreams are the only things she wants,
Her imagination is the only thing she's ever known.
And it's sad really...
Because she tries so hard to be happy.
But the most beautiful thing she could ever create.
Was that smile upon her face,
And that is the one thing that remains blank.
Waiting to someday be something more than,
cenotaph of stormsthe first thunderstorm
was triggered by a blunt pair
of scissors, sparking violently
against the lightning,
shaking in the wind.
the downpour pierced,
tattooed with no ink but
the dark bleakness
of an overcast morning,
infiltrating uniformed wrists.
hid behind the music block,
shaky raindrops rioting
fears, she fractured.
the second storm
wept a two year downpour
outline that dripped from wrist
to hip, sidelong silhouette glances
obscured by the rain.
stalictidal waves shuddered
frozen, until icy glass
fell in stained shards from
the stillness inside.
thinner, brittler, growing
in flurries of sleet and hail,
her outline was never filled,
though the floods threatened
the third thunderstorm
was a mist-ridden melancholia,
a dream for permanence
smeared in ink through
fueled by the hope
that just this once,
the rain would spark a
rebirth beneath the ground.
instead, a tsunami
washed away the ink
as tides so often do.
Still HereSuicide is a
Thought that frequently lurks
In my mind, wich
Lets it overcome the
Laughter and happiness
Here I still fight, however
Enduring this sad life
Reviving my hopes
Embracing the gift of life
Ideationlocked in a room
with only one escape,
or so it seems.
your hands shake and you drop the key.
Suddenly you're unsure.
Do I want to pick it up?
Do I want to find it?
Do I want to leave?
you think to yourself
there's no other choice.
find the key or corrode, or rust
wear down the hinge
use sadness as the key.
You have the answer now.
Just open the door.
Just walk outside and don't look back.
Let yourself leave with no regrets.
And yet you can't.
You're afraid, you think,
but you are actually strong.
Don't run away.
Don't take that leap.
my bedspread is white and so is my coffin.i can feel
the night closing
the stars are breaking
empty glass bottles
inside of my
mouth, and they taste like
ambien. bitter, then
but you still can't close your fucking eyes
little blue pills for
eyes– it was winter and i
dreams of nothing more than
nothing. the devil
tied chains around all the
vessels in my
body. laughed, and by god i
laughed too (and laughedandlaughedandlaughed).
this will all be over soon i swear i will take everything off your skin and bones and burn it up
and then january took the world
in it's grip and i
drowned in the snow that
will never hydrate the
can you hear that it's the night and it's so beautiful so come here darling and we'll watch the sun rise and set and rise and
smotherher spine was dusk
and unmade nests,
but he tried to live there
he was neither nocturnal
nor a dawn-believer,
so he suffocated
in the birdhouse of her ribs.
FallenYears ago I put on my uniform and boarded that plane.
I left, as I saw my wife crying, and cradling her swollen stomach.
I wrote everday, holding her picture close.
I hope she is doing well, and that our child has grown well.
She doesn't know it, but just because I never came home doesnt mean I left her.
Every day, even though my body is forgotten I am with her.
I hope they find me soon, so she doesnt have to worry anymore.
I know its not how she wanted me to come home.
How she wanted her child to have to greet me, and say goodbye at the same time.
The shallow grave cannot contain the lonelyness or regret I have for leaving.
She knows I had to though... I heard duty calling me.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More